If you have visited this page, it means you are suffering from the painful emotional feelings of missing the one you love most in your life. I know you desperately want to learn about how to get your ex boyfriend back, but you don’t know where to start. For this reason, I set up this website.
It doesn’t matter who breaks the relationship first. It also doesn’t matter who mistake it was. The main thing you have to understand is, your relationship is now ended, and now you have to repair it back and get your ex boyfriend in your life again.
You can take help from this website…
Firstly, you are going to learn about the underlying reasons for the breakup. You have to understand these reasons because without knowing about these reasons it is useless to reunite with your ex.
You want a stronger and long-lasting relationship with your ex… right? Then, you should know the underlying core reasons that break your relationship previously and avoid them as much as possible when you reunite with your ex.
Next, you are going to work on preparing your mind and body for getting your ex boyfriend back. This part of this guide is important because you can’t attract someone if you are desperate, needy or angry.
Once you prepare yourself for the reunion with your ex boyfriend, you will find tested and proven steps that win the hearts.
I strongly suggest you read everything that is available on this page. It will take some of your time, but you will get a general idea of how this strategy works. Then, you have to work on these steps. You will not get your ex boyfriend back if you don’t take action.
Take a quick look at these ten steps that will help you to win your ex boyfriend.
- Step 1: Understanding The Reasons For Breakup
- Step 2: Panic And Acceptance
- Step 3: No Contact
- Step 4: Enhance Your Physical Appearance
- Step 5: Dating Other Men
- Step 6: If He Contacts You
- Step 7: If He Doesn’t Contact You
- Step 8: The ‘Date’
- Step 9: Seduce Him All Over Again
- Step 10: Preventing Breakup Before It Happens
Ok, take a deep look at each of these steps…
10 Steps To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back
Step 1: Understanding The Reasons For Break Up:
I know don’t what other relationship experts think, I truly believe the first step in understanding how to get your ex boyfriend back should to lbe finding the core reason that breaks the relationship.
This step is very important because it will tell you what went wrong so you can fix it and avoid it when you get into the NEW relationship.
To understand the core reasons, take a look at four pillars of relationship:
- Physical Proximity
If your partner left you, it means one or more of these pillars are broken in your relationship. Everyone does not give equal value to these things. Some men put sex, and physical proximity above love and security and some men want more love from their partner. For them, love is the form of security to ensure their partner is interested in the relationship.
It is important for you to prioritize these relationship pillars according to your man’s preference. For this, you have to analyze your man’s behavior and actions.
Here are three things that most men need:
Three Things That Every Man Needs:
I am sure many women are in a state of shock by looking admiration above sex. Yes! This is right, although men spend the most time thinking about sex, but the most important thing they want in a relationship is admiration.
Man wants to feel like a man in a relationship, but that doesn’t mean they want to dominate in the relationship.
In a long lasting relationship, men often want sex and intimacy to get their emotional needs met. Sex is a very important part for the survival of a long-lasting relationship.
If you are in a long-lasting relationship and your relationship lacks sex and intimacy, then it will be difficult for your men to stay in a relationship. Men don’t talk about their emotions they are more into getting it done. If they don’t get enough affection in their relationship, they start looking elsewhere.
It is important for you to talk to your man about how you like to get touched and what turns you on. If you are in a long distance relationship, then you have to use words, noises or visuals that turn him on through webcam. If you are in a long-distance relationship then you need to read 20 Life Saving Tips For Anyone In A Long Distance Relationship
It is not only men, but women do also want some security or certainty to make sure their relationship doesn’t fall anytime.
Your relationship has to build on the solid foundation. Trust is the foundation of any relationship, however, when trust becomes questionable, security/certainty breaks into pieces.
Once trust is broken, it is difficult to re-build, but it can be done. You have to be honest and work on rebuilding a connection to restore trust.
Always keep these three things in your mind because knowing these three man’s requirement in a relationship will help you to prevent a breakup.
A Note About Short Term Relationship:
Most experts give the same strategy for mending breakup in the short term and long-term relationship. It is important to understand short-term relationships are different than long-term relationship and they should be approached differently.
A breakup in a short-term relationship means your ‘honeymoon’ phase is over and your ex is showing ‘we are not meant to be together.’
A short-term relationship usually last for 1-3 months, and it is built on passion and lust instead of deep emotions.
Most people decided to quit the relationship as soon as they realize things are getting serious than they like to be. When they see you are asking for more ‘commitment’ than they wanted to give, then they speak one of the classic lines…
“I need some space.”
“I don’t want a relationship with you.”
“You deserve better than me.”
All these lines have one underlying sentence, “You are going too fast… I am not ready”. If this situation relates to you, then you must immediately halt your all communication and ask a simple question yourself, “Do you want to be with a person who never commits to you?”
Best Solution For This Situation:
If you caught in such situation, then don’t run after that man. If you run after him, beg him for another chance it will only make you look clingy and repel him from coming together.
The best solution for this situation is to give some time and space (probably 1-2 months) to your man, and if he doesn’t come back, then you should MOVE ON.
Step 2: Panic And Acceptance:
Most people after breaking with their partner start calling them and start sending thousands of text messages just to win their ex back.
Although, these are normal occurrences after the breakup, but these are not the best routes to get into the relationship. These actions are showing desperation that is the biggest enemy of the attraction.
In this step, I am going to show you how you can overcome these feelings and prepare yourself to re-attract your boyfriend.
Where These Panic Feelings Come From?
It is quite normal for a person to take foolish routes such as drunk-dialing or send hundreds of text messages soon after the breakup and then realize what they after done on the next morning. If you already committed this big mistake then you should check out this Drunk-Dial Damage Control Guide.
Where these crazy feelings come from that activate these activities? These feelings come from realizing the person you love most in your life is not with you anymore.
These immediate feelings take you to the world of the unknown where you don’t have control over you, and you don’t know what you are doing. One minute you are smiling but the next minute you become moody when you realize the most important person is not with you anymore.
Even if you break the relationship, or you are the person who was not happy in the relationship but still you experience these feelings from time to time. Here is how you can overcome these feelings:
Take a Break:
To overcome these foolish feelings, you need a SOLID break from the relationship. In this time, you have to stop calling, emailing, stalking or talking about your ex boyfriend with your common friends.
You may be thinking the best way to get your ex boyfriend back is to show how much you love him and say sorry for all the things you did in the past before it’s too late. Unfortunately, this doesn’t work, and it can even make your ex boyfriend angrier at you.
You may say things that aren’t true, or you may say some bad words that hurt your ex. For this reason, I highly recommend you to take a break.
You and your ex boyfriend need this break to cool down all the negative feelings that build up soon after the breakup. Look at the calendar and select a date that is exactly ONE MONTH from now. Mark this date and remember this is the time when you allow yourself to contact your ex.
If you are thinking about calling, meeting, or emailing your ex boyfriend before this time then just STOP. You and your ex boyfriend need this time to clear off all negative memories.
Step 3 – No Contact
I highly recommend this 30 days no contact period because it will protect you from being desperate and more importantly it will create ‘FEAR OF LOSS‘ in your boyfriend’s mind.
Most men are committed to one woman. It is not easy for them to find another new woman to create a strong long lasting relationship. Even if your ex boyfriend is dating a new girl, it is possible this may be a rebound relationship.
By not contacting your ex you are creating a fear of loss in your boyfriend’s mind which will increase your value in his eyes and in the meantime you can go can go through these ten steps and learn about how to get your ex boyfriend back.
You have to follow one simple rule in these 30 days. Don’t contact your ex, this includes no calling, emailing, checking out FB profile, stalking him, or talking about him with his friends.
If He Contacts You:
It is likely your ex boyfriend calls you or meet you in person especially if ‘fear of loss’ starts taking place and he starts giving you more value than anything else in his life. If it happens then, it will become much easier for you to re-attract your ex boyfriend.
The number one rule here is to not to be rude or desperate for another chance. If he comes to visit you at your home or the workplace then greets him with a smile and be happy. This action will make him wonder why you are not feeling broken or rotten and it will increase ‘fear of loss’ even further.
If he calls, make sure to keep the conversation short, be happy and ends the conversation first. Take time to call him back after a day or two. Make sure you don’t get into an argument or act depressed. It is good to avoid talking about the relationship and if he does then don’t start the blaming-game.
If he visits you in person, then talk with him for 10 minutes and end your conversation with “It was nice talking with you, I have to finish doing …..” and leave the conversation. Remember act cheerful and happy.
We will talk more about this in the sixth step.
When No Contact Is Not Possible
You need 30 days break, but if you are dealing with your ex boyfriend every day, then in this situation no contact is not possible. For example, if you both are working in the same company, or living together or traveling with same friend circle then what is the best way to deal such situation?
If you are in such situation, then I suggest you don’t be rude and don’t think about ignoring your ex boyfriend. However, don’t start deep communication as well.
You have to keep your encounter short and say ‘hello’ and then walk away. The reason is, by ignoring your ex boyfriend you will make him feel you are bitter, angry or want him to come back. You have to act cool, cheerful and happy doesn’t matter how sad and broken you are from inside.
Don’t do stupid things like hitting your ex’s car or talking bad about him with common friends.
Step 4: Enhance Yourself Completely:
This step is going to be very important for you if you want to get your ex boyfriend back in your life.
You have to write down your positive and negative qualities in a piece of paper. In this step, you have to work on your negative qualities while flaunting your positive aspects.
Start with your physical appearance. Stand in front of the mirror and start analyzing yourself from head to toe.
Start with your hair. If your hair becomes dull and lost their shine? Do you have the same hairstyle for many years now? If it is so, then book your appointment with a hairdresser and try out a new style. Keep the likings of your boyfriend in your mind. Does he like long hair or short hair?
If you feel your hairs don’t need any changes, then move to your face. Does your face is missing its brightness due to its tension? Does your eyes have lost their sparkle that it once head? Improve yourself by getting a good massage.
Now move towards your clothing. If you haven’t gone shopping for very long then get some new clothes. Your wardrobe needs a change as well. Good clothes can boost your confidence. Don’t shy from wearing sexy lingerie under your formal clothing. It will make you feel attractive and boost your confidence as well.
Once you feel satisfied with yourself, go and meet new friends especially male friends doesn’t matter if they are also friend of your ex boyfriend. Visit dinner, parties, camping, etc with them. If possible then flirt with them but make sure you don’t ignore your ex boyfriend completely.
Flirting can help you in getting your ex boyfriend if it is done within the limits of the friendship. Make sure you don’t show yourself as you are available for anyone.
Be Confident and Independent:
Once you have done work on your physical appearance, you need to work on your mental and emotional part. Women usually carry large baggage of rights and wrongs of life with them. Don’t be that women, they are highly non-attractive to men. You have to get rid of desperation signs such as clinging and submissive to win your ex boyfriend.
Softness, delicate and vulnerable are some of the qualities that men like in his woman, but CONFIDENCE is the most important. Becoming dependent on your man for each and everything is one of the sure-fire ways to make men pull out from the relationship.
Change Your Attitude:
Keep in mind, being confident is important but becoming overconfident is not a good thing. You should be ready to accept your responsibilities. One of the complaints people have about their ex is they fail to accept their responsibilities.
Don’t break your connections with your ex’s friends after the breakup. Make sure you keep your connections with them even after the breakup. Plan for an outing with them but make sure you don’t show your desperate feeling for your ex boyfriend to them.
Don’t Blame Yourself For The Breakup:
Do you know the basic rule of how to get your ex boyfriend back? It is DON’T UNDERESTIMATE yourself. I know the pain of missing someone in your life, but you are not the main reason for the breakup.
The best thing you can do to get over the breakup is spent some time with your friends. Make sure you spend time with friends who want to see your progress in your life. Have faith in your capabilities if you want your ex boyfriend to come back.
Step 5: Date Someone Else
Dating someone else is one of the best ways to win your ex boyfriend back. The sole reason to date someone else is to make your ex boyfriend realize your importance.
It depends on you who you like to date. It can be your neighbor, or it may be someone you met a couple of months ago or maybe someone suggested by matchmaking site.
Dating a new person can be a huge booster for your confidence. However, it is important to avoid dating a mutual friend. If you follow this step correctly, your chances for getting ex back will greatly improve.
Dating Is What You Need At This Stage:
After a painful breakup, the most important thing you need is a fresh air in your life which is only possible by dating someone new. Additionally, dating will ease all painful memories that pulling you down.
The breakup is not the end of the life. Instead, it is a new beginning to start working all over you again. Dating will bring the confidence you once had on yourself. It will give you the opportunity to look at the world beyond your ex boyfriend.
Dating will keep you busy and help you to explore new possibilities in your life. However, it is important to avoid dating mutual friends.
Step 6: If He Contacts You:
This step is completely optional for girls who don’t get a call or text message or email from their ex boyfriend. However, if your ex boyfriend wants to talk to you then follow this step.
After 30 days no contact period and applying everything correctly as mentioned in this page, the chances are high that you will receive SMS, text message or call from your ex boyfriend.
Your ex boyfriend will be very vulnerable at this time and miss you like crazy, so it is highly possible your boyfriend will contact you.
Once you apply the above steps, you will once again start enjoying your life. You are now living your life to the fullest and all of the sudden you got a message… and BAM!! It is from your EX BOYFRIEND
You may now have a rush of adrenaline in your body and want to scream out your guts from the top of the mountain. You can do it but make sure you don’t tell anyone as it will look strange. BUT WAIT!
Keep in mind; your goal is to win your ex boyfriend again and not just to receive a call or message from your ex. So, you are still a few steps away from getting him in your life once again. However, if you receive a message or call from your ex boyfriend then chances are he cares about you and want you in his life.
Your ex boyfriend wants to create a connection with you but make sure you don’t become his ‘Emotional Tampon’
YES! That Emotional Tampon. Your ex boyfriend wants you to help him to get over you. Don’t fall in this trap. And make sure you don’t push him too hard that make him angry, jealous or rude.
I mentioned before you don’t have to call, message or email your ex boyfriend for 30 days in NO Contact Period but that rule chances completely if he contacts you.
However, don’t reply to his message right away because you don’t have to give him the impression that you are waiting for his messages or email. If he sends a text message, then you have to wait three hours to reply him. And if he emails you then wait 24 hours before replying him. You have to convey you are busy doing work and contact him back.
When making a conversation with him, you have to remember these three things:
- You have to keep your conversation short. If you give him a long reply then it will make him feel you are waiting for his message. And you don’t want him to feel like that.
- You have to give him the impression that you are happy with your life. This way your ex boyfriend will not find you’re desperate to get into the relationship with him. You can say you have a movie to watch with your friends or you are working like nuts.
- You have to end your conversation by mentioning you have other things to do. Make sure you keep your tone cheerful and don’t be rude. You can end the conversation with, “Well, I’ve a dinner with my friends and I will talk to you later.” You don’t have to invite your ex boyfriend, if he wants to join you guys then let him come but make sure your friends don’t get upset his presence.
You have to make sure you don’t appear needy. Men want those things that they can’t get easily. When your ex boyfriend feels you are unavailable to him, then this will stimulate his attraction and make him want you badly.
If there is an option to choose between gold and grass, then most people will prefer gold, because it is expensive than grass. What makes Gold expensive than grass? IT’S RARE!
When you convey you are unavailable, then the power will come to you, and he is the one who is pursuing you.
What If He Calls?
If you see his number in your cell phone, then don’t pick it up. Instead, after a few minutes message him, “Hey! Sorry, I was busy and couldn’t take a call… How you are doing?”
After this short message, if he contacts you again, then you have to make sure to apply the same principles.
Keep your conversation short and let him lead the conversation. Make sure you don’t sound depressed, angry or rude. Be nice and cheerfully talk with him. Tell him about fun things you are doing. And make sure you end the conversation first.
If he calls you tomorrow… or after a certain time then make sure be cheerful.
Many girls make a huge mistake that makes ex boyfriend jealous is bragging about how many guys they are sleeping with or talking the old relationship problems or asking about his love life. You have to avoid this mistake and keep the conversation short and cheerful.
He is trying to reconnect with you so, don’t beg him to give another shot to the relationship. Make sure you keep everything light and sweet. If he calls you then chances are he talks about relationship and try to fix things up. If you are not bringing the relationship topic and letting him lead the conversation, you are completely fine.
If you got to this far then congratulations, your ex boyfriend still cares about you. There are few more steps you need to complete that fix the problems, and you both will be in the relationship once again.
Step 7: If He Doesn’t Contact You:
If you get no email, text message or email even after applying everything you learn about how to get your ex boyfriend back, then don’t lose hope as you still able to save your relationship but it will require some more efforts from your side.
If your ex boyfriend doesn’t call or message you, then chances are he is still angry with you or his friends telling him to move on without you. In most cases, the later is the mostly the case.
Some men seek advice from their peers and listen to them. However, some men are self-reliant and if their friends tell them to do something they act rebellious. Men usually don’t listen to friends as we women do.
So what I am trying to say is don’t worry, all is not lost. You can still save your relationship. However, you need to put on more efforts to fix your relationship.
Once you have completed 30 days and you still haven’t received any message or call or email from your ex boyfriend, then it is fine to contact him. You have shown that you are not needy, you have given him space, and you have allowed all those negative emotions to subside.
Now, the question is, what you are going to say when you don’t know what is in your boyfriend’s mind or what his friends are force-feeding about you.
I can almost guarantee that you will able to get your ex boyfriend back if you don’t show your neediness and desperate for a relationship with him. You have to start a friendship with him.
You may be thinking friendship doesn’t make sense when you want him in your arms again. But listen to me, the last thing you don’t want to do is show your needy and desperate feelings. These traits kill attraction in any men. And by playing a ‘friend’ role, you can bring relationship subject once again. It is important to play safe and doesn’t appear threatening.
So How To Contact Him?
Although some men prefer a phone call rather than text message, it would be really awkward if you called him out of the blue that makes him feel less comfortable. It is possible he is busy when you call him that is the reason a simple text message create intrigue without putting any pressure.
What To Text Him?
When you text your ex boyfriend, it will give him a time to reply when he feels comfortable. However, his friends can get involved, and he asks them for advice. It is important for you to make him feel you are looking for a platonic relationship.
You can say something like…
“Hello! Hope things are good on your side. I want to let you know that I realized you were right and the breakup was best for both of us. It would be really bad if we lost our friendship as well. I hope you are doing great!”
When your ex boyfriend reads this message, then things will take aback, and he will think you want to be a friend. I can say he will be more than willing to agree with friendship because men usually want to make friends. Men cherish their friendships, and then you can plan for the coffee meeting.
The Pointless Text:
One of the things you should definitely avoid if you want your ex boyfriend to contact you is a POINTLESS TEXT. I don’t know about you, but I hate it when someone texts me messages like, “Hey” or “Hi.”
Even something like, “hey, how you are doing” or “hey, what’s up?” can be bad in getting a response from your ex. These are pointless messages because they don’t stir up any emotion.
The Good Reminder Text
Now, this is the type of message that you should send to your ex boyfriend. I call them good reminder text because they make your boyfriend feel you are over him but you still thinking about him. These messages make you look happy and thoughtful and has high chances of getting a response.
Here is an example of The Good Reminder Text:
“Recently, I was watching Dallas Stars match, and your favorite player score the goal! It made me think about how fun it was watching the game together!”
You have noticed I used few exclaiming marks because surveys showed that messages that contain exclaiming marks obtain 15% more responses than messages that don’t contain them. This is reason exclaiming marks are important but don’t go overboard.
Did you ever try sending a message to your friends like “how they are doing tonight?” You probably get responses like
Although the difference between these two messages is only about emoticon, but the meaning is completely different. The first message will give you the impression that your friend is bored and lazy that can’t text something useful while the second message will give you the impression that your friend is doing nothing tonight and you can plan to hang out with him/her.
The Good Reminder Text is also important because they don’t put any pressure on your ex boyfriend. It makes your boyfriend feel you don’t expect a response from him because there is no question in it.
What To Do Is Sending Messaging Is Not The Option?
If sending a message is not the option then you should consider calling your boyfriend when you know he will not going to pick up. In this way, you can leave a message on his voicemail.
Make sure you leave something thoughtful and light-hearted, something that effects his emotions. Such as:
“I’d give you a quick call to let you know the season premiere of Games of Thrones is starting from Friday. I thought you should know about it because the last episode we watched together was so good. Anyways, hope everything is fine.”
This message is brilliant in numerous ways. First, it makes your boyfriend feel you are thoughtful and still remember those memories you spend together. And this message doesn’t show any kind of desperation and neediness.
Here is another example,
“I am calling to let you know The Hammers are playing at International Stadium. I remember how much you like them. Hope all is well.”
These types of messages show you are thoughtful, concise and doesn’t convey your neediness.
Keep in mind, the tone of your voice is as important as the words you are using to convey your message. In fact, research showed that 93% conversation in any relationship is non-verbal which means how you say is more important than what you say.
You have to leave a message in such a way that it isn’t a big deal for you. You have to control your speed as well. If you speak too fast it will sound you have pre-meditated the whole message. Make it seems like you just heard the news and you thought to pass it on. Make sure you sound calm and relax.
When your boyfriend listens these messages on your voicemail, he will think about you which is a positive thing. Additionally, these messages will not make you seem like needy. And when he heard the last sentence, “Hope everything is fine” will convey that you are not asking for any reply which makes you much more desirable.
It may feel like cat and mouse game, but relationship experts called it “Push/Pull Theory” and it is not fancy as well. All you are doing is using common human psychology.
Now the most important thing that comes once you left this message is ‘Call To Action.” You have to leave your ‘call to action’ in such a way that it makes you look like you really don’t need him but his presence will be nice.
You can say something like:
“It’s my nephew birthday, and I want to pick up a stuffed toy for him. I remembered you are good at that. Could you please help me out?”
If you start your communication with text messages and send messages like above, then it doesn’t matter whatever your call to action is, you will always get a positive response. Once your ex boyfriend accepts to meet up then you can make your way towards building sexual tension to get him again.
The whole point of all these messages is to meet up with him and becoming a friend is the best and easiest way to do it. If you want to attract your boyfriend and want him to love you, then just text messages will not be enough. It is important for you two to meet up once again.
Here are other steps that you need to follow:
- Step 8: The ‘Date’
- Step 9: Seduce Him All Over Again
- Step 10: Preventing Breakup Before It Happens
Since you have come to know about all these steps for how to get your ex boyfriend back, I want you to do a little exercise before putting these steps to work.
Close your eyes and try to remember memories you spend with your boyfriend.
If most of these memories are negative, then I don’t think it is a good idea to work on these steps and try to get your ex boyfriend. I created these steps only for those girls who feel they have a strong connection with their boyfriend and they want to get into a serious and stronger relationship with his boyfriend.
Breakup is not the end of the relationship, instead it is an opportunity for creating a stronger and powerful relationship. If you want to win your ex boyfriend again, then you have to act on steps that I mentioned above. These are tested and proven steps to get ex back, and by following them, I am sure you will also get your ex in your life again.